My motivational speech to an 80s Tribute Band

 

Hey,

I just talked to Robbie this morning (Sunday) and the band intervening Jackyl and Skin Kandy is a local bunch of long hairs called 'Drophammer'. They're out of the Quad Cities and Robbie says they're a real 80's Big Hair Metal feast, so that should be cool. Let's you and I make certain to talk about halfway through their gig. If they're any good, I'll talk to them before Jackyl starts and maybe we can work with them. If they'd open for you at some Big Dog's shows, and you for them at some gigs in their home club, it would lead to some exposure in that area, as well as some new clubs for you to play in.

Also, he's going to find out what's the earliest you can get in there to set up on the 26th.

Regarding Friday's gig…good time had by all! That was a fun show, and not because of the special effects, pyrotechs, the sound system, the crowd, or the club, because it was understandably insufficient in all those categories considering the gig…I'm talking about you and the guys. Skin Kandy always sounds great; the difference between shows, (i.e. Eastside Maidrite on New Year's) is your spirit and the ambiance you encourage in the room. If you're having a good time, the crowd has no choice but to join you. Remember…when you're up on that stage, you are the leader of the Free Rock World. You're the most powerful man in the universe. You need to be cognizant of that power, and use it to your advantage.

Something else to always keep in mind…people can get drunk much cheaper than where you're playing. They can also sit snugly at home and spin all those 80s greats on their stereo, which does sound slightly better than Skin Kandy. The ONLY reason they are spending their hard-earned cash, and risking a drunk driving charge, is because they want you to transform them for couple hours. They want Skin Kandy to take them back to that wonderful time of few responsibilities or worries. Back when they were invincible, and had no fear. They want you to alleviate them of the stresses of their workweek, their kids, and everything else overwhelming in their lives. Everyone has his or her own ways of relieving stress. Some do it in church, some in the gym, some by pills, or a bottle. Others find it in a shrink, and some…the very coolest of society…go to a Skin Kandy show. Never forget that is what you're there for. To your average patron, it's not about the talent, or supporting live music, or the club, or anything we'd like to think they're there for. Most are there for themselves…because they need it.

Your two most significant tasks when you're behind that mic are as follows:

A) To coerce the crowd, by any means, into having the best time they've had all week.

B) To make them put their money in the cash register. The more fun they have, the less they concern themselves with reality, and the more they drink.

By doing this, they will go home and pass out with a huge smile on their face, and one of your songs ringing in their ears the next day. Then on Monday, they'll speak well of you to their friends and compatriots. Also, the clubowner will do well, and desire bookings with you again and again. Keep rockin'!

Later.

--Stacy Foster

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